ditsy history

I'm sitting in the library with my world history book open in front of me, but of course, I DON'T WANT TO READ IT!! temper tantrum..

something got me to thinking today in my english class. we were going over a play where the main characters are husband and wife, but they act more like father and daughter, or dominator and play-thing. one girl in my class pointed out how demeaning it was that the husband referred to his wife in the third person: "how is my little sky-lark? did she spend way too much money again today?", etc. I realized that I found it cute before thinking about it too deeply. then some other girl brought up the fact that alot of girls dumb themselves down when there are guys around to attract them more.. ?? why do I always feel too dumb around everyone if it's the norm to unintentionally make myself sound less smart? I'm either living in a completely different reality from everyone else around me, or I really am just some sort of bimbo. either way, I wish girls weren't so critical of each other. I suffer from it too. we compare ourselves to others in the most petty ways, even if it's not apparent. sometimes I wish we all looked the same so that all we had to rely upon were our personality differences. then guys would actually have to carry on a conversation in order to tell if we were likeable.
I think everyone would be better off if that were the case.

ugh, and ancient people worshipped fertility symbols, drew pictures on walls to keep records, lived without civilization like we do today..

I hope whoever's reading this can tell where the sarcasm is.

wouldn't it be cool if our dwellings were connected by rooftops instead of streets? "who's that walking around on my roof?.. oh it's just Mrs. Jones coming around to chat."

and summer blows away..

.. and quietly gets swallowed by a wave.


a wave of sadness, that is. the waves in California didn't quite do it for me this time. I guess it's kind of a wave of people that swallowed up summer also. for Fort Collins anyway.

yeah so school's started up again. people are EVERYWHERE. .. at least they WERE everywhere last week.. it seems to have thinned out slightly now for some reason. probably all the new kids realized that hanging out on campus when they don't have anything else to do is LAME. but who knows. whatever.

I don't know what my problem is lately. I believe things that are absurd. and I'm becoming somewhat dishonest.. :/ that is the worst thing right now. I don't want to grow up. I don't want to be some phony, knowitall adult who's wasteful and annoying and.. bad.


22 sucks so far.