okay, so I almost can't stand this anymore. my mom drives me nuts. SHE is nuts!
whenever she's home I just feel pent up and agitated and then the second she leaves to go somewhere I let loose and happiness overcomes! I feel like an angsty teenager again... but she's seriously mental! she acts like I don't know how to do anything, and when I try to act like a grown-up she gets mad and then starts COUGHING and then I feel bad about setting off her stress-related illness. gosh, I can't deal with it.
I still can't decide on a job. I mean, I could apply for a whole bunch of them but I'm not quite to the point where I'm going to yet. I feel like a complete bum lately. I hardly ever leave the house, I keep forgetting to return people's phone calls.. I'm socially retarded! even talking to the neighbors freaks me out. I'm losing confidence in almost everything (including myself) and I don't know what to do.
maybe it's the change of scenery or the change of responsibility, I don't know! I'm just not happy anymore. I've stopped caring. I want a job, but I don't care enough to find one. it makes me sad to think about all the people and things that I might never see again. I don't feel like moving on. I'm stuck in the past.

and our satellite just stopped working so I can't watch Scrubs anymore :(