sunday

whoops. so much for the "every day" thing. I'm so bad at this. well... it's the end of the week and I've procrastinated doing a paper. six pages due tomorrow. normally this wouldn't be such a bad thing, considering I have a whole day until then, but on this particular day there is a tour of the island that I signed up for and a free meal is included, so I'd prefer to go on that. I haven't really seen "all" of the island yet, so I'm looking forward to it. hopefully it's as promising as it sounds. this past week kind of flew by... wow. all of my classes are wrapping up and it feels like we just got started. I have all kinds of stuff to do before the semester is over. I don't know if I'll be able to get it all done or not. :/ bah. I just want to be HOME already. I just got off the phone with my mom, and she rubs in that they're having scrambled eggs and peppered bacon with donuts for breakfast. thanks mom! I get to go to the cafeteria and hope that what I'm eating doesn't eat away at the lining of my intestines. I would kill for some home-made scrambled eggs and fresh safeway donuts right now. damnit. guess I'll settle for cereal and toast for another two weeks.

monday

okay, so the semester is winding down and I realized that I barely ever write blog entries in this thing, so I'm gonna try to write a blog every day or so until school is out and list out each day's events. shouldn't be too hard since I usually am lacking things to do. my life is boring, I have to warn you. whoever is reading this, don't expect anything earth shatteringly exciting. :/

anyways. today I went to one of my classes and skipped the other. (not in that order) in my history class we discussed this book that we're reading (Coming of Age in Mississippi) and it seems like alot of the people in my class know more about dressing well and partying than they do about matters of the world, or history. (not that it's a bad thing. some of us have to look better than others) pretty pathetic, but I'm sure someone's said that about me before... after class, I came back to my room and parked on my bed. then after a while I brought some pictures to my friend Mike from this seal census thing we did. he told me a very interesting bit of info. **IF YOU DON'T READ ANY OTHER PART OF THIS BLOG, AT LEAST READ THIS** apparently the company that supplies food to our cafeteria puts chemicals into the food that are supposed to fill us up faster, but these ingredients have a side effect of eating away intestines. yay! no more cafeteria cooking for me, thanks. I decide to only eat the raw vegetables and cereal from now on. maybe bread... then, I came back to my room, chilled on the bed some more (on and off) and started browsing itunes for songs with the name Sarah in them. after my roommate had evacuated the room, I jumped up and started dancing around like a retard. pretending I could do ballet. ha. made some tea, talked to some people online... what else did I do? dude, I can't remember! this always happens to me. I did some sit-ups... and listened to more music, danced some more... pretty much until my roommate returned. (can't dance in front of people unless: a.I'm completely comfortable with them, b.I'm somewhere where everyone is dancing, or c.I'm drunk :/) after a while I realized that it was getting close to dinner time, but I wasn't planning on going to eat until the very end of dinner, like usual. I talked to my friends online for a while, then went to eat some broccoli, carrots, & garbonzo beans, with peanut butter on bread for dessert. came back, got back to talking with Steph until she went to bed. then I was being nosy and looking at random people who go to my school's myspace and facebook profiles. (this is how uncool I am) eventually I led myself to my own blog and decided that I should do this... yup. and here I am. I put my itunes library on shuffle and just let it roll... until my eyelids are too heavy to hold open any longer. (I think that will be soon)

I promise the next entry won't be quite so long. I blame my sleepyness. peace <3

metal

spoon. eat. fat. hippo. zoo. animals. furry. shave. legs. long. drive. car. speed. kills. death. black. book. read. words. letters. envelopes. stamps. ink. pen. notes. love. heart. blood. red. suitcase. pack. travel. home. :(. frown. sad. clown. circus. elephant. grey. silver. metal.

I do this sometimes when I'm bored. start with a word, then whichever word comes to mind from that word, and write it all down. keep going until you come back to the word you started with. it's really easy, and it helps me clear my head.

shit

that's how I feel right now. shitty. I can't really go into detail but this guy that I know is in constant turmoil with his insides and he doesn't seem to do anything to help it. It's as if he LIKES being depressed. it's fucked up!! I don't know what to do about it because when I talk to him I feel like I'm being annoying. he always says I'm not annoying him at all, but he doesn't talk to me, unless I talk to him... most of the time. UGH, it's so obnoxious. and I think we're friends. so I can't just NOT talk to him. but I feel like I shouldn't talk to him because I'm getting my hopes up?????? he's constantly hinting about having feelings for someone. I don't want to think it's me. in fact, I'm almost certain that they never are feelings for me. I'm not "odd" enough for him. but the fact that he hints around, and lets me (and other people) see what he's trying to express just demands attention and lets my thoughts wander. but I don't know what to do about it. I mean, I could be honest with him. I always am honest with him, I just keep some stuff inside. I guess this is exactly what he's doing.... hinting around that he feels something, but not coming right out and telling the person WHAT he feels and HOW he feels and WHY...

I'm so bothered by this. I want to know what the fuck he's talking about. enough with the vagueness. if he wants something to happen, he's going to have to initiate something. be brave!! and DO SOMETHING about it if you want things to change. I don't even care any more if he has feelings for me, whether they be friendly or otherwise, I just want to know what he's trying to say and who he's trying to say it to. I can't handle the mystery and I don't want to ask him too much and risk sounding meddling and nosy, though I think I might just explode one day and drill him with thousands of random questions, without caring what he thinks of me or how comfortable I'm making him. this has gone on long enough, damnit. I'm pissed. and I'm sick of it.

Gorilla!!!

yeah, I was just sitting here with my friend and I asked her to give me a word that starts with a G. GORILLA. coolness. booooredddd! we're waiting for some guy to show up so we can go get sushi. and then I have class. :( on a friday night. (again, what is the matter with me, right?) it's usually not that bad, but I have a quiz tonight and I hate examinations of any kind, sooo.... yeah. not looking forward to it. gorilla. new slang. it means... ? I don't know what it means. use it any way you choose. I'm going to study some more. I don't want to fail. or do I?... hmm.....

who likes dried pinneapple?

I frickin LOVE dried pinneapple I've discovered. It's super sweet and full of preservatives, but oh well. So is candy, only candy doesn't include real fruit. Good stuff.

I'm listening to Alkaline Trio like a mad woman. I can't get enough.

AND I discovered something fun. Go to this website: http://artpad.art.com/artpad/painter/
it will keep you occupied for hours. I really wish I had something better to do. Picasso I am so not.

Happy hunting.

last day of the month

so. today is february 28th. i am writing a blog. i've decided not to capitalize any of my words. boo ya. and instead of commas. i'm just gonna put periods. i am extremely bored right now and no one reads these things anyways. so it doesn't really matter. fine time to fake a seizure. to feel your mouth on mine. you're saving me. i'm in an alkaline trio mood. (apparently) i feel really weird today. like i have nothing to look forward to. it's gonna be march in about 7 hours. but it feels like february will last forever. maybe it's because i get no change of seasons here so it feels the same all the time. it is the same all the time. no change. that's why i couldn't live here. i need change. i'm never gonna be able to make up my mind because it never will be made up. it's always changing. change is never-ending. how depressing is that. so i guess this place will never be the same. and yet it is. hawaii defies the laws of the universe. i've been popping my knuckles alot lately. i never pop my knuckles so it's strange. something new. aha! change. damn. why do i waste my time with these things? no one reads them. i guess it's just another way to vent. since i have no people to vent to. even my frickin mom is avoiding me. maybe i'm just having a moody mad at the world day. these seem to pop up every once in a while. popping up. like my knuckles. fuck.

hol.i.days

Boy oh boy. Christmas is passed, New Years is passed, it seems like all I have left to do now is... let me see... everything. I haven't registered for classes for next semester, I'm planning on changing my major- haven't done that yet. NOTHING is done. I haven't even seen all of the people that I wanted to visit while I'm home. Frickin week in Wyoming is throwing me off. I'm in Wyoming by the way. Doing absolutely nothing. Tried to get school stuff sorted out online, but apparently I haven't given damn HPU my immunization records and they won't let me do anything. Stupid school. I just wanna quit. And I think I might, after next semester. Too much going through my mind, I can't handle it.
You would think that a trip away from civilization would help clear my mind, but NoOoOo, frickin dad wants to see what my grades are, frickin website won't give me my grades, frickin "call the school and find out what's going on! You should be able to see what grades YOU got in YOUR classes, that YOU paid for!", "Yes I know, but they're frickin obnoxious." (I frickin failed at least one class though, so maybe it's better that frickin dad can't see what I got)
Hey, it's a new year! Why don't I resolve to not worry about things that have already happened and I can do nothing about? Because I feel bad about it and should not have failed in the first place.
Frickin blog is too frickin long.
Happy Holidays! :)

Saturday

Okay, so I have approximately 20 minutes before I need to go to class. (Yes, saturday class. I know, what was I thinking?) To pass the time, I thought I would do another fun google search. I couldn't think up anything else to do.
...well I guess I could go buy some food since my stomach is about to eat itself...
no, this is better.

"hippie flake":
- a Dakine beanie
- a blog titled "f$%kin hippies"
- a couple movie reviews
- The End of The Beatles (an article)
- the script from an episode of the Gilmore Girls

Alrighty. That's that. Now I have to go to class. I am sooo hungry. :(

obnoxious socks

I was feeling curious, so I went to google, typed in "obnoxious socks" in the search bar and voila! Instant entertainment. I really should be doing research so that I don't fail two or three classes this semester, but this is so much more fun. (I'm avoiding being productive)
Google came up with:
-a girl's personal knitting experience with a yarn color called Las Vegas
-a buttload of random people's blog pages
-something called "Socktoberfest" that I think was made up
-Wisconsin Wrestling Online...?
-Jedi Council Forums (yeah, go figure that one)

Fun fun. I will probably do this again sometime with a different search criteria. Hmm... now to dream up the perfect one.
Ugh, on to the research.

Le Premier Blog (it's my baby)

Bonjour. I am the first blog. Sarah owns me. I am excited to be available to the world... nah I'm just kidding.
So, I like blogs. I have a "blog" on myspace, but it's not really the same, is it? I thought I would try something new. Why not? I'm young. (kinda) Plus now I can comment on other people's blogs, which is what I set out to do in the first place. So, yeah. Here I go.