it can't be helped

I like to complain about things that I either can't change or that I know won't be changed, so here I go

I wish I wasn't in this situation that I'm in at this point in my life. maybe two years ago, or even three, but not now. it sucks right now. and I'm not getting any younger

the stupid cats like to wait until everyone's comfy and dozing off in their beds and then they start scratching shit up!! and they know you'll come out and yell at them and/or smack them so they run away from you and IT'S THE MOST FRUSTRATING THING EVER. ugh. I want to move away and get my own cat that is de-clawed so I don't have to worry about this crap and feel guilty that the fucking furniture is shredded.

for some reason when I sit at a computer my right hand gets really cold but my left doesn't. it's uncomfortable

my favorite thing to complain about are the guys who will never be mine. they're too good for me. or I'm not their type (even though they're EXACTLY my type) or they're physically attracted to something I'll never be or I let a friendship go on too long and now we're destined to be nothing but friends... forever! yay

and I sit around thinking someone will talk to me or notice that I exist or give me the attention that I give them but it never happens. I don't know why I expect differently

my least favorite thing to complain about is my friends. they really piss me off sometimes. I feel like ignoring them and acting like I'm too busy so they know how it feels. I mean, I know I don't have a job or school or anything important to worry about so why shouldn't I be there when they need me? but it's not like I was any different when I DID have school and a job. it's bullshit. nobody cares and I'm SICK of them saying they do. they don't, they just wish they did

I don't know where my motivation is lately. I honestly cannot recall the last time I had fun doing something that I suggested or wanted to do. I never want to do anything. I knit all the time but I feel like I don't make anything. I read and watch movies but I don't learn anything. I interact with people and become LESS inspired than before. the only time I get anything done is when I'm buzzed and can actually focus on one thing at a time or if someone around me is doing something different from what I'm trying to do and I can rebel. blah, I'm tired, I'm going to bed. if anyone's hoping that I'll stay up late tonight to (not) talk to you, screw you. try getting up early for me