I realized that the only person that I knew who actually took interest in this is in a completely different state (geographically, and I'm sure also mentally) so I don't know if I have any more followers to possibly entertain....
but I will go on anyway. digress, if you will.
I keep listening to the same song over and over because it helps me focus and it's sad and pretty and I wish I could live in a bubble with nothing but the noise of the song around me. gosh, I sound so weird. it looks like there's a storm hovering above the area. I wish it would just let loose. none of this anticipation junk. :/
I keep getting lost in everything. I mean EVERYTHING. all at once. I try to put on some nice music and focus on this reading I have to do for class, but my mind goes on reeling without my permission. I'm thinking about going to Elitch's and riding rollercoasters.. and then about Wales and the possibility of a semester abroad.. and then I start thinking about all of the things I have to do that I should have gotten done sooner but since I didn't they're piling up and overwhelming me more.. (shocker) I need someone to express all of these random thoughts to who will give me some intuitive feedback. my friends hear my thoughts and then present THEIR side (which I can't snub because I'm guilty of doing the exact same thing. everyone's naturally selfish) and my mom always gives me the "well, I don't know what to tell you" thing. it's not like my job is hard! I don't have a hard life. I'm just so unsatisfied with my situation no matter what I do. I always want to be doing something different. it's exhausting. I'm not even talking about what I was originally talking about! bahhh.. fuck it.
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