paranoia

man. I don't know what's going on. my day started out okay. I had some goofy horoscope about how wonderful things were going to happen.. then it was all downhill after that. evil horoscope.

my car is freaking out on me. I went to start it this morning and it took a couple tries before it would rev up okay. then when it did, the radio locked itself and there were beeps coming at me from every direction (audis have the weirdest safety features). the first thing I thought was.. maybe I should have taken the bus and this is karma yelling at me to be considerate of the environment. though it got me to campus okay. but then AFTER school it seemed even worse. it was taking forever to start and things were flashing and I was dreading having to call my dad and tell him I broke his car. but, once again, it drove fine. it seemed like it was just spazzing out when I tried to get it to start so I figured it was the battery. (though there were no warnings flying at me about the frickin battery.. )
the weirdest thing happened after I had gotten home and eaten some food and then left to head back to school. I turn the ignition- "rrrrhhgrrrrhgrrr..." nothing. uh oh. turn it off, try it again- "rrrhhggggghhh" barely starts. the radio's locked, but no beeps, and my automatic all the way down window feature doesn't work. (usually, you can just tap it down and the window lowers all the way) the weirdest thing was.. my gas gauge was showing that I had more gas in it than I did when I left this morning. but just like before, it drove like it always does after I got it started. so I'm driving and I call my mom to tell her about it. she gives me all these tidbits: "if the gas reader is messed up that's not a good sign." (I know) "make sure you keep your windows rolled up because if the battery dies and they're still down and it starts raining, you're screwed." (yeah) "when you get to school, if it gets you to school, turn it off, then start it up again and see what it does." (okay) so I get to the parking lot, after a very tense drive there, turn it off, say a couple nice words to it, and start it again, expecting the worst. the thing starts perfectly! not even a hint of trying. and the gas gauge still says I have more gas than I thought. I don't know what's going on!!! my car is possessed. and I have no idea what to expect now, which is horrible.

in other news, it was a nice day today and I was worried all day that it wouldn't be. my schoolwork isn't half as demanding as I was making myself think it was. and people aren't nearly as bad as I've been believing they are (at least most of them).

a life lived in fear is a life half lived?